Ugly Betty
9.30pm, Channel 4
HAS OUR bespectacled heroine Betty Suarez at last been accepted into the glamorous world of her Mode magazine colleagues?
She is invited by the professionally catty Amanda (answers the phones, sleeps with the editor) and Mark (Wilhelmina's right-hand boy) to a networking evening for fashion-mag staffers at an uber- fashionable bar.
You can probably guess that Amanda and Mark have invited Betty along just so that other bitchy types can laugh at her. But, as ever, Betty charms the socks off the people she meets, much to Mark's chagrin.
Mind you, something happens at the party that affects Mark and Amanda's career prospects as much as Betty's.
Although let's be honest, we don't watch this show for its storylines. It's the over-thetop characters that make the series the delight it is - whether they are madly glamorous fashion types or homely yet slightly strange, as in the case of Betty's family.
Standing out tonight is Justin, Betty's barely-inthecloset, fashion-obsessed young nephew, who skives off school just so he can hang around at Mode.
He is particularly impressed with a fashion shoot. "It's just like [America's] Top Model," he enthuses. "Except no one's crying."
Midsomer Murders
8.30pm, ITV1
ANOTHER improbable murder and another batch of deliciously unrealistic dialogue.
This tale centres on a manufacturer of glass ornaments.
The brothers who own the glass factory are on a business trip to Shanghai (well, we say Shanghai, but it looks more like Epping Forest) when one of them is killed. Six months later, the factory is closed and the bereaved brother marries his late sibling's widow, Hilary (Susan Tracy). Plus, the dead man's son might be gay, although the company accountant's daughter is in love with him from afar. Oh, and soon there is another death.
Lilies
9pm, BBC1
Giverchy Handbags ReplicaCONTINUING the series that threatens to cause fights over the big telly in old people's homes because the residents are split between this and Midsomer Murders.
Episode three's focus is on racy chambermaid May (Leanne Rowe, right), who wants to be a film star and poses for some rather dodgy photographs.
Meanwhile, the increasingly unpleasant Dadda gets in a state about the 12 July Orange parade, because he doesn't have a horse.
Comedy Connections
10.35pm, BBC1
LOOKING back at the sitcom that, depending on your age, you either remember as being uproariously hilarious or borderline racist and slightly embarrassing.
Yes, it's Second World War concert party comedy It Ain't Half Hot, Mum, which ran from 1974 until 1981 and which Windsor Davies made his own thanks to his shouty portrayal of Sergeant Williams.
Of course, there are memories from the cast, but most entertaining are cinefilm clips from the show's "desert" set - in fact, a big sandpit near King's Lynn.
SOAP BOX
Emmerdale
7pm, ITV1
JO FLIRTS with a stranger in the bar. It's only Andy's dad, Criminal Billy.
We feel slightly queasy.
Meanwhile, Jasmine questions Daz about Billy - not because she's his mate, you understand it's all in the name of furthering her career on the Hotten Courier.
Do they not have a TV listings page she could work on?
EastEnders
8pm, BBC1
Bvlgari FakeIT'S THE cells for Sonia, which must surely be more entertaining than spending the rest of her life with Martin and his giant anorak. Over the road, Deano is confused.
Coronation Street
7.30pm, ITV1
IT'S CHARLIE'S funeral, attended by the massed ranks of, er his alleged killer and her parents, about three of his mates, Jason, Sarah, Maria and David the Devil-Child. Yes, the same little oik the late Mr Stubbs tried to drown.
